-----[ WORDINGS ]-----

I’m the person your mother warned you about.

I’m not as dumb as you look..

No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway.

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.

Never kick a man unless he’s down.

There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.

How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?

I wear the brains in the family.

There’s no future in time travel.

Put on your seat belt… I wanna try something.

Beat the 5 o’clock rush – Leave work at noon.

I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant

I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

My Dog Can Lick Anyone.

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

A day without sunshine is like night.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.

The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.

I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

In America Anyone Can Be President That’s One of the Risks You Take.

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway!

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

I wear the brains in the family.

BEER It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS–But it uses up a thousand times the memory.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

Whatever the questions is, Liquor Is The Answer

Your Boyfriend Thinks I’m Hot.

Weapons Of Mass Distraction.

This is my drinking shirt.

I can resist everything except temptation.

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.

I don’t know what makes you dumb But it really works.

Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.

Us blondes aren’t dumb.

Wasted All The Time.

Life’s Too Short To Date Ugly Women.

Blonde and proud of it.

Don’t Annoy The Crazy Person.

Don’t make me call out my Flying Monkeys.

I’m with Stupid.

I don’t need no Educashun

A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be somewhere else.

Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.

The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.

- Abraham Lincoln

Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.

Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.

A road to a friend’s house is never long.

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

- Ann Richards

Count your age with friends but not with years.

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.

A true friend sticks with you through thick and thin no matter what.

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.

- Henry David Thoreau

An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.

When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

- Edgar Watson Howe

Friendship is love without his wings!

- Lord Byron

Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows.

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.

- Euripides

When you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life.

True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.

If I had to sum up friendship in one word, it would be comfort.

- Terri Guillemets

Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

- Walter Winchell

True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.

- Charles Caleb Colton

Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise.

Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life.

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

- Aristotle

To be depressed is to be lonely; to have a friend is to be happy.

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.

In my friend, I find a second self.

- Isabel Norton

Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you.

Your friends are what will matter in the end.